like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
