I'm laying in your front yard are you home
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
