i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
But theres a keg here and me gusta
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
