Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
