Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
