You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
