Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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