Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize