Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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