I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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