ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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