nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
