this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
