I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
How's work?
Spinning.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize