I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
