I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
