I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
