I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize