guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
