I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
