that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Damn victory sex feels great
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
