tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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