You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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