I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
