dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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