Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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