Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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