dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
