You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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