The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize