okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
