I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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