It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize