On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
