Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
