there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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