the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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