the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
