...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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