Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
