On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
