Pants 0. Shit 1.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
