I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
