Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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