You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
