So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Who died my cat blue again?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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