Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
