he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
