this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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