I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
