i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
