You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
