By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
