I'm gonna have a badass scar
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
