What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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