If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
