I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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