at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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