direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
