I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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