I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
