it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
