I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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