Don't you send me to vm
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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