you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
