i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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