you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
