stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
