Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
