I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize