i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
