The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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