Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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