This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
