Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
