I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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