Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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