I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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