I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize