ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
