What did we do last night that was yellow?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
