then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If I die, sorry about rent.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
