I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
