"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize