do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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