Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
