if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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