The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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