It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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