All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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