why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Terrible idea I love it
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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